Once I'm shuffled off this mortal coil, there's gonna be a free-for-all with my plentiful organs, as per my request. After that, burn me. Do not put my dead ass in that cold ground, that is fucked and wrong. Poke me with as many needles as you think necessary, so long as there is ashes, ashes, all fall down at the end.


Add some salt if it'll make you feel better, but if anybody so much as sniffles at my wake, Imma haunt yo ass anyway.

All of this, of course, only if you can actually find my body. Good luck!